It was one week ago today that I received the phone call telling me my aunt had been killed in a car accident. Though I was in a conference hall filled with people, it was as if everyone had suddenly shifted to the walls and I was standing alone. Tears threatened to fall as I struggled to process that I wouldn't hear my aunt's contagious laugh again in this life. My heart broke for my mother, who would no longer look forward to lunches with her best friend. It took time for the shock to wear off so that I could move past thoughts of how she died and, instead, focus on how she lived.
My mother, her hilarious aunt, and her joyful sister.
My aunt was a genuinely happy person. She allowed herself to see the good in situations and people and didn't let outside influences change her attitude. You couldn't help but smile when you were around her. She had a quick wit and didn't take herself too seriously.
She always had influence over others, but it wasn't always a good one. My mother related a story her mother told of my aunt when she was young. She loved friends and having fun, but if things got boring, she would remedy that. As a child, she was with a group of girlfriends. I guess things were getting dull because my grandmother saw my aunt create a rift among the crowd, then stand back and watch, entertained by the trouble she'd caused.
This story made me laugh because it was such a good description of my aunt's personality. She was an instigator. When she was younger, she may have caused some trouble, but it didn't take long for her to realize she would rather influence others for good. She spent her life as an instigator of joy. Serving others. Helping others to smile and laugh, even when they didn't see anything worth laughing about.
My mother said my aunt had, "never met a stranger." This was evident at her funeral. The chapel was filled to capacity and chairs flowed into the gym to accommodate everyone in attendance. They were all there to celebrate the life of a woman they considered a friend. She never looked past people or made split-second judgements. If you passed by her in a store, she would make eye contact and smile. Maybe even say hello. Everyone was a friend she had yet to meet.
I want to be that person. Someone who doesn't see strangers, but who treats everyone as they would a best friend. Someone who leaves people happier than she found them. I want to be an instigator of joy.